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View Full Version : Tech Hephaistos - Feedback much appreciated


Archangel
02-21-2006, 08:52 AM
Exactly what the title says. So, without further ado, here's my profile ...

Name: Tech Hephaistos
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Build: Slightly muscular build without appearing too huge. Height of 5' 6".
Hair: Long black hair falling down to shoulders.
Eyes: Black

Clothes:
Tech couldn't care less whether he looked good in his clothes. He usually dresses up in dark clothes, most of the time consisting of a dark blue shirt and black pants which reach down slightly past his ankles. A brown belt holds up his pants. Simple, cheap black shoes adorn his feet. Oh, and of course not forgetting his spectacles. He can barely see without them.

Weapon(s):
Shak'ra - A dagger whose blade is fashioned from rare, tough metal. The intricate design of the blade doesn't follow traditional standards, weaving a wicked slightly crooked line instead of the straight length. The dagger is enchanted in such a manner that when away from the user, can be summoned back to the hands.

Darviv - A slim device attached to the wrist. This weapon may look like a weird sort of box tied to the wrist but instead it is a clever invention concealing a small crossbow-like instrument within its metallic body. However, due to the restrained physical dimensions of the weapon, only three arrows can be loaded at any one time. Don't be deceived though. The arrows fired from this crossbow travels just as fast as any modern advanced crossbow.

Abilities:
Dash - Multiplies the user's original speed, so much so that he or she may disappear from sight.

Hover - Allows the user to hover a few inches off the ground or any platform. Might not seem very useful except when used in conjunction with the 'Dash' ability so as to prevent any noise created from footfalls.

Reflect - Projects a weak shield which reflects most projectile-based attacks. May not work on powerful advanced attacks.

Shadow Walk - Works only when there are shadows around in the area. The ability allows the user to squeeze through shadows into a parallel world fittingly termed the 'shadow world.' When in this alternate world, the user is able to travel freely around via the shadow paths and back out into the real world simply by using another shadow gate.

Personality:
Tech Hephaistos seems like a simple-minded, happy-go-lucky guy at first. He doesn't exactly do anything to change that perception of him either. Most of the time he'll be seen grinning stupidly at some girl or another and spends his money freely without any thought of what tomorrow may hold for him. Those who know him well know differently though. When it comes down to the important stuff, he's actually pretty serious and smart. It's just that he doesn't like attention all that much.

He's quite the shy guy. His shyness isn't very obvious around guys but put him smack center in the middle of a room filled with girls and he'll melt right there and then. He finds it difficult to even open his mouth. This is because for the most time of his life, he has never been around girls that much and hence doesn't know how to act around them.

He also values loyalty. Never in his life has he betrayed a friend. Those who are loyal to him will certainly get a friend for life in him. He would even go so far as to put his life on the line in the name of loyalty. Reckless, yes, but what do you expect from a sixteen-year old kid?

Background:
Tech Hephaistos was your average kid. He had a normal family, loving parents and didn't suffer from poverty although he wasn't necessarily wealthy. In these traditional old-fashioned times, it may seem strange but he loved and was obsessed with technology. Whenever he saw crows in the sky, he would wonder if it was possible for the average human to fly the heavens as well. Mind you, he was aware that certain special individuals well-versed in the arts of magic could very well do that but Tech wanted such things to be possible even for those who couldn't immerse themselves in the magical arts.

Thus he began his personal journey of self-discovery. At the age of twelve, he had already found himself a job in the city as an apprentice to an inventor named Zerfig. The city dwellers claimed that the old inventor was out of his mind but Tech didn't care. Zerfig had his heart in the right place. He too wanted to develop technology for the masses and the common people. Both of them soon developed a close bond.

Although technology was Tech's forte, that didn't mean that he wasn't magically-trained and educated. He had a very basic knowledge of magic and could cast simple spells. The advanced ones though ... suffice to say, he could fix and upgrade a damned old sword with less effort.

Well, after a few years, Tech had pretty much learned everything Zerfig had to teach him. Thanking the old inventor for his teachings, Tech left his job and home in search of new knowledge.

Rag
02-21-2006, 12:00 PM
It looks fine to me. Good length, decent amount of detail, and plenty of clarity. You might find that you need more abilities once you get a few posts into a battle, but I suppose it's difficult to give a sixteen-year-old too many skills without being unrealistic. Maybe you could instead take this technology theme further and give him some more gadgets? Maybe a small grappling hook on the opposite arm to his crossbow, which can be fired and reeled in via some built-in mechanisms. I don't know.

Archangel
02-21-2006, 01:46 PM
Wow, thanks for the advice. I did notice that he was slightly lacking in the abilities and the technology department. Was planning to work on that before posting my official profile. ^_^