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DETHKLOK
07-10-2006, 06:19 AM
Name: Adolf Sutherland (has no relation to adolf hitler)
Age: 21
Sex: Hell yeah!!, i mean Male
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 210 lbs
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Blonde

Appearance: Has a rather normal build, nothing reall stands out abou thim from a normal person.

Attire: Wears a grey Tshirt, grey pants, and grey boots.

Weapons: Has been trained in many weapon arts, He can weild a Mace, sword, gun, numchucks, swords, staffs(wooden kind not magic), throwing knives, ninja stars, and greatswords. All of which he carries in a grey backback on his back.

Abilities: has no special abilities besides the perfect training of all the listed weapons.

Background: After his induction into the super soilder program he quickly grew and adapted becomeing the best in his 'batch' of soilders. His whole life has been spent training and following orders, both him and his 50 identical counterparts. He eventually grew to strong for 'them' to controll anymore nad he broke free, now he goes around killing anything that looks like it could imprison him. None have been able to withstand his mastery of weapons and his constant changing and attacking in battles. He hopes to one day return and break free his brethren to cause chaos and havoc upon the world. Until that day he well fight, the only way to stop him well be to kill him.

Blank
07-10-2006, 09:43 AM
Wow...is this a joke?



My Harsh Criticism:

-Right off the bat, I can spot a lack of detail in many areas of your profile.

-You could AT THE LEAST attempt proper grammer and spelling.

-Perfect training...in all those fields of weaponry? HAH! People spend their lives perfecting one weapon and never reach it.

-Your character conflicts in the area of being built normal and being able to carry all those heavy weapons in a bag on his back. Wouldn't he have to be built to carry all that dead weight?

-You never specified how many swords or what kind of swords he was carrying. Does he like, throw them? I could understand not explaining the knives or stars (unless that have some sort of special something on them like magical powers.)

-The sex thing; I really hope you're not serious on putting that in your profile.

-I like the idea behind the background, though you really could have bulked it up in detail quite a bit. The background should be the backbone of your character. Be creative, GO WILD!!!


...That is all I have to say. Sorry for being so blunt, mate. Don't take it too personal. Weather you wanted my criticism or not, you got it. :P

DETHKLOK
07-10-2006, 05:09 PM
fair enough, i admit it is vague, but seeing as how is a super soilder he can learn things extreamly fast. and also being a super soilder he is really strong without having to be muscular. The swords are just normal swords that he uses like a normal person would, you know swinging them and stuff. Thanks for the feedback, ill update it soon with more detail.